The appalling behavior of U.S. President Donald Trump and Vice-President J.D. Vance toward Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky during last Friday’s White House Oval Office meeting constituted a shameful exercise of American diplomacy.

In attempting to arm twist Zelensky into accepting a cease fire with Vladimir Putin’s Russia on terms deeply unfavorable to Ukraine, the Trump/Vance tag team was uniquely thuggish in approach and outrageous in its substance. It was an ugly, disturbing exchange in which Zelensky was wrongfully accused of showing insufficient gratitude for U.S. assistance and of being unwilling to negotiate reasonably with Putin.  (To watch the meeting, go here.)

The Atlantic‘s Tom Nichols characterized the meeting as an ambush:

Leave aside, if only for a moment, the utter boorishness with which President Donald Trump and Vice President J. D. Vance treated Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the White House today. Also leave aside the spectacle of American leaders publicly pummeling a friend as if he were an enemy. All of the ghastliness inflicted on Zelensky today should not obscure the geopolitical reality of what just happened: The president of the United States ambushed a loyal ally, presumably so that he can soon make a deal with the dictator of Russia to sell out a European nation fighting for its very existence.

But things got worse for Ukraine. Despite a post-meeting plea from President Zelensky that Ukraine needs America’s support to defend itself from Russia, the Trump Administration announced this Monday that it is freezing all military assistance to Ukraine, pressuring Zelensky to negotiate with Putin and put a quick end to the war. In the meantime, MAGA supporters in Congress — falling over themselves to bow to Trump — called for Zelensky (a national hero in Ukraine) to resign.

Like School Yard Bullying or Domestic Abuse?

Many commentators characterized the White House meeting as a resembling an act of school yard bullying, with Trump and Vance ganging up on Zelensky like a couple of mean teenagers tormenting and cuffing around a younger schoolmate, surrounded by their sycophants.

At first, that characterization resonated with me.

However, especially after taking into account the Trump freeze on military assistance to Ukraine, it became clear to me that this was more like domestic violence.

It starts when one party enjoys a significant power advantage over the other. The abuser cruelly mistreats their partner in an effort to bend to their will. Then, when the target of the abuse won’t acquiesce, the abuser punishes them further, essentially saying, see what you made me do?!

Historical Comparison

Since February 2022, President Zelensky and his fellow Ukrainians have been put on the front lines of defending Western democracy against an invasion ordered by a murderous autocrat in Putin. Many military experts predicted a quick and easy Russian victory. But the Ukrainian armed forces, buoyed by support from the Western alliance, have courageously managed to prevent that awful result.

During the desperate days of the Second World War, Winston Churchill and England found themselves in a similar situation, fighting against Hitler’s onslaught. The powerful Nazi military forces had run roughshod over Western Europe, leaving England standing alone against Germany. Thankfully, America, led by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, became the arsenal of democracy that Britain needed to bravely hold out.

By sharp contrast, the Trump Administration has now indicated its willingness to abandon long-time Western allies, including Ukraine, in order to curry favor and connection with the strongman Putin.

Insights from Bullying: Cruelty is the Point

In Part II of my opening essay, I explained how my decades-long work in understanding the legal, organizational, and interpersonal dynamics of workplace bullying and similar forms of mistreatment have yielded unexpected insights in psychological abuse:

For the longest time, I regarded this work as a niche specialization, a deep dive typical of what academics do via their research and publishing. But in recent years, it has become evident that understanding bullying and related behaviors at work helps us to interpret current trends in society at large, especially civic and political life in the U.S. Now, with the return of Donald Trump to the White House, America has officially become a bullying nation. We truly have entered our Dark Age.

Those of us who have studied workplace bullying for many years are often asked if it resembles school bullying. While acknowledging superficial similarities between the two, a good number of us have responded that severe workplace bullying — especially the very common supervisor-to-subordinate variety — more resembles targeted domestic abuse, citing the uneven power relationships and twisted psychological dynamics.

This insight immediately came to mind as I evaluated how the Trump Administration is treating Zelensky and Ukraine. It is fueled by an understanding of Trump and his close followers, whereby — as explained by writer Adam Serwer — “cruelty is the point.”

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The situation looks grim for the Ukrainian people. But I hope that somehow, against great odds now increased by Trump, they can eventually force Russia to withdraw from the captured territory and end the war. Ukraine will then have to care for all of those wounded and traumatized by this illegal invasion, while engaging in a long, expensive rebuilding process. Perhaps in some (for now) unforeseeable way, the United States can return to the side of the good and decent by helping them in their national recovery.